Five years ago my mothers confession wouldn’t have bothered me. I would have thought it vain, but not at all unusual.
My mother is fat.
She has also been on a diet since she was 7 years old when her own mother would send her away to hospitals during her school breaks to be on -1000 calorie a day diets. You see, I don’t mean she has been on diets and sneaking in cookies on the side, in fact she doesn’t have a sweet tooth. My mum is a hard core dieter. She has tried the liquid diets. She has been on Weight Watchers a dozen times. In the 90s she went on phenphen and only went off it because it was banned for causing heart problems. That was the most she ever lost, about 50 pounds. She gained it back within months of going off the medication. So this weekend when she confessed to investigating the possibilities of getting weight loss surgery, I can’t say that I was surprised, I was just totally, through to my core, sad. I love my mother dearly, and although I can be pushy with my own beliefs, I don’t think my fat acceptance way of life will ever penetrate her 50 years of conditioning. Weight loss surgery is where I draw the line.
When I asked her if she had talked to anyone who has had the surgery, she said she had. Both people were only a year post-op. I suggested that she talk to a dear friend of mine who had to get her stomach removed, replaced and hasn’t been able to eat without throwing up for years. She can’t digest most foods and has to get IV nutrients given to her because she can’t get them from her food. She is heavier than she ever was prior to her operation. Of course, she “looked great” her first year after the operation.
“In the more than forty years that bariatric surgeries have been performed, there have been no randomized, controlled clinical trials that have shown any long-term improvements to actual health or that lives are saved or extended by these surgeries — not any of the dozens of types and variations being performed, and certainly none of the new procedures claiming to be better and safer.”
“The Mayo Clinic reported in 2000 that 20% to 25% of gastric bypass patients develop life-threatening complications, but the recent Lap-Band U.S. clinical trials done to earn FDA approval reported 89% of patients had at least one adverse event, one-third of them severe. Complications from lap bands are more likely to require surgery to correct and the bands result in so much more vomiting, they are known as “surgical-induced” bulimia among medical professionals. While many consumers believe the newer, less invasive laparoscopic bypasses and lap-band procedures (which tighten a constrictive band around the stomach to make it smaller) are safer, they merely have their own “unique set of complications,” according to surgeons Shanu N. Kothari, M.D., and Harvey J. Sugerman, M.D. writing in Healthy Weight Journal. Ulcerations and the bands eroding into the stomach can happen and usually are why the bands are not reversible or removable”
“Most bariatric patients are subjected to a lifetime of severely calorie-restricted diets and are unable to eat a full variety of foods, with average calorie intakes under 1,000 calories the first year and after three years the average is still 1,386 calories. The unhealthfulness of long-term starvation-level diets (even uncomplicated by malabsorption) and protein shortages have been well proven to significantly shorten people’s lives. Vomiting after gastric bypass procedures occurs in up to 68.8% of cases and can become chronic, resulting in severe malnutrition, according to Brazilian surgeons in a 2005 study published in Obesity Surgery. Their study found weight loss was 10% higher among patients who become chronic vomiters.”
So that is all fine and good. I can imagine my mum, and others like her, who have been taunted and told that they are lazy, sick, and a crutch on society, that the risk of vomiting isn't that big of a deal. I can also imagine that the thought of eating less than 1000 calories a day is not daunting because I don't think my mother has eaten more than 1400 calories a day that since I knew how to calorie count myself (age 12). To be fair, not everyone has the chronic vomiting, not everyone has complications. Even if there is no proof that they help you beyond you being lighter, there is the chance you might be able to shop in a store that isn’t just for fat people. Something I can tell you, now that I am pregnant, would be a blessing. Even if I could wrap my head around that, my mother’s motivating goal is life span. She wants to be around for her grandchildren.
"based on studies of nearly 63,000 operations presented at the American College of Surgeons 2003 Clinical Congress, surgeons reported that an average of 2% of patients die within the first 30 days as a direct result of their primary surgery, but rates were as high as 6% with some surgeons and medical centers. Other surgeon reports have found mortality rates are three times higher in patients over age 55, three times higher in African Americans than whites, 2.8 times higher for men than women, and highest among patients who are the most “obese” (up to 12.5 times higher for laparoscopic gastric bypasses) — the very patients the surgeries are supposedly to help.”
“The most objective mortality data available to date was in a study published in JAMA, led by Dr. David R. Flum, M.D., MPH, of the Department of Surgery at the University of Washington, Seattle. They looked at actual 1-year death rates for all Medicare beneficiaries who had had bariatric surgeries in Medicare-approved centers from 1997 to 2002. Of the 16,000 patients, with an average age of only 35-54 years, death rates at one year averaged 4.6%, but among patients 65 to 74 years old, nearly 13% of the men and about 6% of the women died. In patients 75 and older, half of the men and 40% of the women had died.”
“To put these numbers into perspective, by comparison, a coronary bypass has a 2.6% mortality rate, yet those are mostly done on elderly patients who are seriously ill with multiple health problems. “
“The American Society of Bariatric Surgery estimated 177,600 bariatric surgeries were performed in 2005. Tallying the mortality rates found for each age and gender found in the study by Dr. Flum and colleagues, about 8,000 people died from these surgeries in 2005, two-thirds women. Frequently cited is that these surgeries are life-saving and that the risks of dying from the surgeries are less than those from their “obesity.” Certainly prospective patients believe this for themselves, too.”
So when my mother considers butchering herself for the sake of her grandchildren, I can't help but wonder when the finger pointing at fat people is going to stop. If it ever stops during my mothers lifetime, I doubt it will sink in. I come from a family that celebrates weight loss. Where talking about what diet you are on and how fantastic you look as a result, are ways of showing love. No one ever puts you down if you are fat, but you get a lot of love if you are trying to lose weight. I am in fierce defense of my mother, because I think she represents many fat people. She works out regularly, she eats a very low calorie diet, she hates the way she looks, she thinks it is going to kill her.
She thinks this way because of what
you tell her.
When you compliment her on looking good, and ask her if she has lost weight.
When you tell her about the diet that worked so well for your colleagues.
When you congratulate her on losing weight.
When you have ads that have people crying at their new found happiness once they are thin.
When you tell her that beauty is on the inside.
When you yell "fat pig" at her when she crosses the street.
When you say that she is unworthy of dressing in fashion because she is fat and don't provide clothing made beyond a size 22.
When you make all plus sized clothing available only online because it takes up too much room on the shop floor.
When you compliment her on her healthy choices when she is at the check out till at the grocery store.
When you laugh at her when she pushes herself out of her car or needs a hand getting up off the ground.
When you presume her knee ache is because she is fat.
When you consider her week and without self control.
The only way my mother, and millions like her, don't exhibit self control is that they participate in the same mentality as you (the media/society). Fat people (overweight, obese and morbidly obese), according to the same media, are over half the population in the USA. If this is the case, they are the majority allowing the minority to make them feel like they are unworthy.
I wish my mother could face her value. I wish she could see her body for what it is. A beautiful tool. One that has been told it is not up to par for all of her life. It is no wonder her measures are getting more extreme.
In the end, being fat will probably kill her. But not in the way she thought.
*All quotes are from this
Junkfood Science article.
