Work

There are moments when you see how much you have grown. For me, these are small moments where I smile to myself and carry on with what I was doing. Recently, a pattern I thought long gone has reemerged in my life. Desperation surrounding money. When I was younger, and I started out as a massage therapist, I would wish for any client to come through my door. I just wanted to pay the rent. I just wanted to be able to eat half decent food. My clients at that time were a mixture of hypochondriacs, flakes who would come in late for appointments, people who would argue over money, people who would try to get bargains, and every now and then… a perv. Slowly, over time, I started to hone in on my skill set, target specific clients and settle for less money (due to less clients) for people who were actually invested in their own health.

Since the recent drop in the economy, my mentally healthy, proactive clientele has slowly dropped away. Now I am around four months away from not being able to work and don’t have any clients. In a desperate manifestation, I managed to have two people call me this week. Both are very similar to the types of clients I saw at the beginning of my practice and this depressed me to no end. One just canceled and I was quite thankful.

I guess this is the time to really take a look at where I am. I need to get in touch with the fact that I have a kid inside me, instead of just the symptoms that it is creating. I need to figure what it is I want because part of me really has no desire to take on anyone's “stuff” by massaging them.




Evaluation.