love love love

Well the countdown is on. Tomorrow my brother and his gal (who is like a sister to me) are arriving. The next day my parents arrive. Thursday is the wedding. We have spent the day cleaning, to the best of our chaotic ability, our house. It still is a mess to many standards and I am curious to see the reaction of my biologist brother who tends to categorize his cabinets with obsessive detail. Until then, though, I will sip my brandy and marvel at the craftsmanship of my man and our wedding sculpture.

I am in love. I am thankful.

We have a few friends who are in the middle of the most horrendous medical conditions. One is recovering from a double mastectomy and the other is suffering from a very rare fatal illness. Both are under 35 and the weight of their pain makes me more thankful for what I have. It is a shame that it always takes moments like this.

In the past few weeks there have been a few of those moments where I have thought of my gratitude to be matched with someone that appreciates me as much as I him. Two of those moments left me loving the ways in which we gift give. I have wanted to share them with people but have been saving them for when my family arrives. Perhaps this is a good place?

Recently my man turned a ripe 40. For his birthday I bought him a Black and Decker work bench. My father has one he has used my whole life and both my father and my man have a great DIY capability. The thing is, we live in a third story flat. We have no garage, no basement, no lawn. So we have a wood working set up in the middle of our living room to go with the Dremel I bought him for Christmas. There are Japanese handsaws and drills scattered on our floor. I am all for practical gifts, but I am also for the most ridiculously unpractical. So since I bought him a gift to last a lifetime I thought it was a great idea to get this as well. It hangs proudly over our kitchen door.

In turn, because it was there and because how can you not, I was given a kids microscope. You know the kind. I had one when I was younger. It came with slides of birds feathers, skin, hair, scales and onion skin. For the next week we have collected lice eggs, flower pollen, scabs, cheek cells and every other not-too-small biological specimen we could find. I am sure sperm would have been up on the slide as well had we the microscopic power.These are some of the reasons my days are filled with joy. I can be the kid with the foul mouth. The angry, sometimes zen bitch of a mama I am and then cuddle on the couch and relish in the smells of an unshaven beard. My lips burn from whisker kisses, my heart beats under a gentle but strong hand.

take a pill dude= zen life

The sun is shining bright, so much so that it is deceiving how warm it is outside. I wore a fleece vest over a sweater and arm warmers on top of my shirt. Incredulous outfit, I know. I like to wear my humor on my sleeve. Oh, snap! Anyhow the journey was simple the appointment was not. In all the decision making we have had to do concerning wedding and honeymoon details the thought of inoculations have not been a top priority. I had my shots when I went to India. I even took the dreaded Larium and didn’t get any of the psychedelic side effects it is so known for. I didn’t get any shots or take any medication when I went to Thailand, primarily because when you are going to be in a place for longer than a month, you can afford to spend the time in the hospital if you need to. At this point in time I am not prepared to spend half my honeymoon attached to an IV. I am also not prepared to inject myself with chemicals because we live in a fear based culture.

I went to the doctor to talk about the changes that have taken place in the malaria pill world. The new (say this in a superhero voice) wonder drug Malarone for only £2.50 (5 CAD) is the recommended drug of choice. It is the MDMA of the malaria world. I walked out with a list of shots and pills a mile long. Instead of scaring me into taking them, it did the opposite. I walked out saying I didn’t want any of it, not even the malaria tablets. Then I got home. I did some research and managed to scare myself into wanting a million shots and pills. This up down up down is what my life seems to be like nowadays. I am worn out from life’s decisions and I just want to have someone tell me what to do. When they do I want to kick them in the shins and tell them they aren’t the boss of me.

It is childish, but I guess that makes me zen. Getting into my child like mentality.

t-2 weeks and counting

In the left corner of the living room, under the shade of the palm trees, is a pile of black city recycling boxes. Each one has a different part of our wedding celebration packed away in it. The most recent addition is the confetti boxes filled with geranium petals and bougainvillea petals that have been collected and stored over the past year. Coming from as far as Saudi Arabia and as close as our window sill. In two weeks my family will be here. I am so excited to be surrounded by the people I love.

The funny thing is, I am very nervous about our ceremony. There is a certain level of performance anxiety that goes into the production. Most of my peers would say I like to be the center of attention, which is true. I do. I love it, in fact. I love it when the centre is in the middle of five people max. Ahh well, I am not really nervous yet. There is still too much to do. This week starts the girlie girl part of it all. Getting my hair trimmed (something I do twice a year now) and dresses fitted.

Time is speeding up! Let the excitement begin!

Something you don't see everyday

There were snowmen littering ever blank public space in the town. Snowball fights, smiles and snowpants that only come out for France ski trips. I rode my bike around town smiling at the youthful celebration and tried not to fall off in the slushy mayhem.

the sky that has many moods

I am at the point of sensitivity that interprets others mundane pessimism or general humdrum la-de-dah as a personal insult. Ouch, it hurts.