Monday, January 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
From the couch
It has been almost three weeks since I was hit with a nice case of sciatica. Luckily I am one of those blessed with it in an isolated location- my ass. Over the course of these three weeks I have been confined mostly to limited movement activities. Because of that I have stuck close to home. I have built a pillow fortress on the couch so I can breast feed, sew quilts, and eat all at the same time and without much movement. At the end of the three weeks I had worked up to a ¼-1/2 kilometer walk but was very sore afterwords. Happy to be on the mend, and happier that my man was home for a few hours yesterday, I decided to bend in the shower and shave my legs.
My back went out.
Now I have been known to complain about physical ailments before. I know that when it rains it pours, especially when it comes to body mishaps, but this really has got me down. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to move around the house with a newborn when you need a wall to hold when you walk? It took me a half an hour to get to a sitting position at the edge of the bed this morning. A screaming child next to me. Then I think how lucky I am that little N isn’t crawling and needing much more stimulation than sitting on my lap looking at shadows. Then I would be screwed. So I sit here, little N curled up beside me sleeping, counting down hours until I can take my nest dose of regular strength Tylenol, and pray that some light enters my back. The good news? Today is my last day of being alone for a whole week! My brother and his partner are coming from Canada and my man will be home in the mornings for 4 days! Bring on the love….
From the couch.
My back went out.
Now I have been known to complain about physical ailments before. I know that when it rains it pours, especially when it comes to body mishaps, but this really has got me down. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to move around the house with a newborn when you need a wall to hold when you walk? It took me a half an hour to get to a sitting position at the edge of the bed this morning. A screaming child next to me. Then I think how lucky I am that little N isn’t crawling and needing much more stimulation than sitting on my lap looking at shadows. Then I would be screwed. So I sit here, little N curled up beside me sleeping, counting down hours until I can take my nest dose of regular strength Tylenol, and pray that some light enters my back. The good news? Today is my last day of being alone for a whole week! My brother and his partner are coming from Canada and my man will be home in the mornings for 4 days! Bring on the love….
From the couch.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sleep
I spend most of the day trying to make her comfortable enough to sleep.
Feed, cuddle, snuggle, play, read, sing, feed
Once she does fall asleep miss her. I watch her breathe.
I want to pick her up and rid myself of the first twenty minutes of independence I have had all day.
I want to snuggle with her.
I want to smell her hair.
I want to hear her coo.
My heart is so full... it is awesome.
Feed, cuddle, snuggle, play, read, sing, feed
Once she does fall asleep miss her. I watch her breathe.
I want to pick her up and rid myself of the first twenty minutes of independence I have had all day.
I want to snuggle with her.
I want to smell her hair.
I want to hear her coo.
My heart is so full... it is awesome.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
1 month
It has been a month.
It is all still raw. Figuratively and literally.
I am getting it together though. I have let go.
Or I have let go a bit.
The funniest moment of the labour?
I was at the end of 40 hours of contractions.
My daughter’s head had entered the birth canal. I shat. The hot male midwife had to help clean me up. Everyone was so focused on the crap that no one thought why the crap would be there. A few minutes later, the threat of a c-section looming due to lack of progression, they gave me one final exam. Sure enough, there she was! I pushed for the greater part of an hour to no avail. The contractions were getting weaker and further apart. It was time to make some decisions. Time to bust out the ventouse. The apparatus looked somewhere between a flying saucer and a toilet plunger. They put it on my baby’s head. They cut my vagina to make more room. They pulled on the baby while I pushed. The seal slipped and the ventouse popped off the baby’s head and out my vagina. With it a chunk of flesh (placenta??) that rotated in the air in slow motion. It landed with a distinct sound on the doctor’s cheek.
This is one of the many moments I want to remember. It is the one I think of often when I think of that night. The comic relief that could have presented itself a bit earlier but was fantastic never the less…. Even if the doctor disagreed.
It is all still raw. Figuratively and literally.
I am getting it together though. I have let go.
Or I have let go a bit.
The funniest moment of the labour?
I was at the end of 40 hours of contractions.
My daughter’s head had entered the birth canal. I shat. The hot male midwife had to help clean me up. Everyone was so focused on the crap that no one thought why the crap would be there. A few minutes later, the threat of a c-section looming due to lack of progression, they gave me one final exam. Sure enough, there she was! I pushed for the greater part of an hour to no avail. The contractions were getting weaker and further apart. It was time to make some decisions. Time to bust out the ventouse. The apparatus looked somewhere between a flying saucer and a toilet plunger. They put it on my baby’s head. They cut my vagina to make more room. They pulled on the baby while I pushed. The seal slipped and the ventouse popped off the baby’s head and out my vagina. With it a chunk of flesh (placenta??) that rotated in the air in slow motion. It landed with a distinct sound on the doctor’s cheek.
This is one of the many moments I want to remember. It is the one I think of often when I think of that night. The comic relief that could have presented itself a bit earlier but was fantastic never the less…. Even if the doctor disagreed.
Friday, October 9, 2009
3 days of solitude
Day 1:
4 hours of sleep
6 hours of crying
3 hours of driving around England because I took a wrong turn and missed an osteopathy appointment for the baby
Day 2:
6 hours of sleep broken into 3 parts
0 hours of crying
1 incontinence pad 1 diaper thrown into a load of black laundry by accident
Day 3:
8 hours of sleep broken into 3 parts
0 hours of crying
1 poke with a stick to make sure she is alive resulting in 5 minutes of crying
4 hours of sleep
6 hours of crying
3 hours of driving around England because I took a wrong turn and missed an osteopathy appointment for the baby
Day 2:
6 hours of sleep broken into 3 parts
0 hours of crying
1 incontinence pad 1 diaper thrown into a load of black laundry by accident
Day 3:
8 hours of sleep broken into 3 parts
0 hours of crying
1 poke with a stick to make sure she is alive resulting in 5 minutes of crying
Saturday, October 3, 2009
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